Volunteerism at its best
Fundamentally, Hospice of the Carolina Foothills provides medical care, but that’s just a small scratch on the surface of the special care provided to those who need it most: folks facing gut-wrenching, end-of-life health issues.
Beyond the highest level of professional medical care is a level of tenderness and compassion that defies description, and it comes not only from a dedicated professional staff, but from a legion of loyal, well-trained, equally dedicated volunteers as well.
And for those volunteers who may not be comfortable with providing patient companionship, there is a wide range of other opportunities: clerical help, facilities assistance, landscaping, church liaison, special projects, all of which are performed with the same uncompromising high level of care and compassion.
It would warm the coldest heart to be a fly-on-the-wall observer of any meeting of hospice volunteers as they deal with supporting the mission of hospice, whether it’s record keeping, changing a light bulb, planting flowers, or cutting the grass. All are done as near to perfection as possible – just like hospice patients are treated.
In a community like ours where volunteerism is epidemic, no opportunity to serve others is more fulfilling or satisfying – or appreciated – than being a volunteer for Hospice of the Carolina Foothills – including cutting the grass.
— Bill Wuehrmann
Tryon, NC
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Hospice: A Personal Perspective
Whenever the subject of Hospice comes up, someone is quick to say, “Oh, I admire you so much for doing that. I could never visit dying people.”
I didn’t think I could either, but I was willing to try.
I got involved with Hospice because I lived 1000 miles away from my mother during the last years of her life. I went to see her as often as I could, and we treasured every minute of our time together. But it was never enough, and I always regretted not being able to be there every day.
One of my first requests from Hospice came late on a Saturday afternoon shortly after I had finished my training. Could I fill in for a care-giver that evening? Nervously, very nervously, I said yes. I had never met this patient before, but it was clear, even to my inexperienced eyes, that she was quite close to death. Her daughter called. I explained that her mother was resting, and she said to please tell her that she loved her. “You could tell her yourself,” I suggested, and held the phone to her mother’s ear. Then the daughter and I talked for a few minutes. She said how grateful she was that I was there, holding her mother’s hand in her behalf. I explained about not being able to hold my own mother’s hand, and told her how grateful I was for the opportunity to be with her mother. We both cried. For a few moments, we were sisters.
People often ask me, “What do you say to a dying person?” Mostly I listen. How proud they are of their children and grandchildren. How grateful they are for Hospice care. I don’t try to jolly them along. These people are struggling. With pain, with grieving for all the things they have given up: independence, mobility, hobbies, society, and all the myriad things that used to make up their daily lives. Sometimes, when I suggest that they don’t have to be brave all the time, they shed tears they don’t want their families to see.
One woman I visited recently was 89, blind and deaf, confined by illness to bed in a nursing home. She was the last one alive of her family and friends, so the only visitors she had were from Hospice. She loved us. She spent the whole visit telling me how wonderful I was to come all that way just to see her – she couldn’t believe it. Hospice had told me that she had a hankering for fried chicken, so I brought her some KFC. I was overwhelmed by her sheer joy and gratitude. All the pleasures in her life had been taken away from her, one by one. It was both sad and lovely that she could get such delight out of something so seemingly unimportant. This week I’m making her rice pudding to go with the chicken. She can’t wait, and neither can I.
Hospice has taught me to be grateful for the health, the energy, the activity, and the friends I am enjoying now. They won’t be there forever. And when I get all tangled up in my socks, as I often do, sitting quietly with a patient, being part of the dynamic of that family for a few hours puts my petty concerns in a new and much better perspective. I breathe more deeply, feel more grounded, less self-absorbed. Every Hospice volunteer I’ve ever met says the same thing: “You get back so much more than you give.”
One of the most important things I learned in Hospice training was that I can’t fix it. No matter what it is. I can’t take away pain and illness, heal the rifts in a divided family, make everything fine again. But I am willing, and that’s mostly what it takes to be a patient companion volunteer: willingness. I can show up. Be there. Sit still. Listen. Hold a hand. Stroke a brow. Smooth lotion onto dry skin. Tell someone it’s okay to cry, to complain, to wish things weren’t the way they are. I can bring a peach milkshake. A chap stick. A piece of fried chicken.
Mother Theresa had it right. We aren’t called to do great things. Just small things with great love.
— Nancy Tuckerman
Columbus, NC
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Hospice Volunteer Reflects on Service
As I approached retirement from the educational field, I knew that I wanted to become a volunteer. In my decision-making process as to what organization I would volunteer for, I knew I wanted to do something where I could make a difference in someone’s life in some small way.
As a volunteer with Hospice of the Carolina Foothills, I have come to realize that the difference has not been only in the lives of others, but in my own personal life as well. I have received many more blessings than I could ever give. Working with patients and their families has given me the peace and courage to make plans for the time when I may face a devastating illness and death. To be able to see how families cope with the problems they are going through, and see the courage they exhibit as they care for their loved ones is the most gratifying experience I have ever had. To be able to hold a hand, wipe a tear or give a hug brings joy to any day.
Sometimes as I reflect on what I do as a volunteer, I am overwhelmed at what a difference it has made in my life. Sometimes life is not fair, but having the opportunity to bring a little joy to someone who is facing a crisis is certainly rewarding.
— Helen Johnson
Landrum, SC
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The Joys of Being a Hospice Volunteer
I was recently asked this question: What has Hospice done for you as a volunteer? More often the question is asked the other way around: What do volunteers do for Hospice? But having been asked the first question, and after ten years of working with Hospice patients, it is time for me to pause and reflect on how very much Hospice service really has done for me.I have been taught more than any classroom or volumes of books could ever teach. To be accepted and allowed to be a part of the final journey in someone’s life is an enormous privilege, never to be taken lightly. I have been taught the importance of being a good listener; the importance of a soft touch or a hug; the importance of not judging, even when you don’t like what you’re hearing; the importance of humor; the importance of just being there and knowing you can’t fix it. Most of all, I have been shown visually the real meaning of “Fear Not” for death is not to be feared.
I have been given some very special friends and acquaintances that have been my teachers. Thank you, Annie, for describing to me all the beautiful flowers you saw in your last few days, none of which I could see myself. Thank you, Linda, for getting me to drink my “greens” and take better care of my health. Thank you, Eleanor, for trusting me to help you in and out of bed, and Rosa Mae, for reminding me how very blessed I am when all you owned fit in a brown paper bag. Thank you, Marie, for showing me so much courage, and Jennie, for giving me insight as to whom you were seeing—when others couldn’t. I have no doubt it was your angel. Thank you, Molly, for enjoying the lobster dinner, and to Pat for your special needs for us to accept and to love. There are many more friends, each giving me a gift in their own special way.
And most importantly, thank you, Hospice of the Carolina Foothills, for trusting me to work with your patients. Whenever I need backup, more information, or any kind of support, you are there! As a volunteer, working with and watching the hospice professionals are themselves special learning experiences.
I encourage anyone considering volunteer work to discover for yourself the Joys of being a Hospice Volunteer!
— Rosemary Smith
Columbus, NC